Why Forgetting Your Goals Will Lead To More Fulfillment

“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.” — Bruce Lee

In my quest in learning how to live a more fulfilling life, there was a common thread connecting all the people I studied.

These people, who seemed like they were enjoying every single moment of their lives, all set an audacious goal for themselves, and then forgot about it.

They didn’t COMPLETELY forget about it, but they stopped thinking or worrying about it.

They instead focused on the SYSTEM that helped them move closer to that goal.

Meaning they didn’t really care whether they hit the goal or not. Their happiness was not tied to that. They redirected their attention to conquering the small wins and relishing every ounce of joy that the small win offered.

They were true examples of those who lived in the moment.

They weren’t anxious about the future.

And I think that’s a skill we all would like to, and could cultivate.

I have personal experience when I’ve been paralyzed by anxiety. I was looking at the top of the mountain rather than the next step.

I’ve also experienced crippling times when I failed to hit my goal.

A sense of defeat started to loom over my head. The negative self talk started to creep in. “I’m a failure” I told myself.

But that was only because I tied my happiness with whether I hit the goal I set for myself.

However, the goal is the outcome. The result. Something we don’t have full control over. And obsessing over anything in which we don’t have full control over, can lead to misery.

To bring a money comparison, our wealth is said to be determined by the amount of lives we impact. We can certainly have a goal of making a million dollars, but there is a chance that we might not reach that goal. There are other factors outside of your control that can interfere. Economic collapse, business competition, a global pandemic.

Similarly to fitness, trying to get the body of your dreams by hitting a specific set of measurements or by trying to look like a certain person, is a good goal to start, but it’s an outcome that a person may not have full control over. There are still certain elements that can be outside of your control. For example an economic downturn that affects your spending on the right type of nutrition that you may need to sculpt your body a bit more.

Once again, these examples are extremely relevant ONLY when we tie our happiness with achieving the specified goal. We shouldn’t mentally box ourselves into a narrow version of happiness.

I also experienced this myself, when I get too hard on myself. Treating myself like a failure for not reaching the goal, instead of being proud or trying.

But if we focus on the process instead, and if we feel contentment from that in itself, every day is a fulfilling day as long as we know we’re making progress towards that goal.

So I want to ask you, what do you tie your happiness to? Is it from hitting the goal? Or is it from simply making progress towards that goal?

What do you have full control over? The outcome of a specific number? Or your thoughts and the effort you put in?

This could be worth reflecting on.

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Let me know what you think down the comment section below.